radio, radio

early deadlines, christmas, sickness and family have plagued my life the past two weeks. it's a wonder i'm still here. it's a wonder anyone around me is still here. i've been somewhat irritable lately. i don't know what it is but i was so ready for the holiday season to be done and over with. there's just so much chaos that goes hand in hand with the holidays that it starts to become overwhelming. i start longing for some peace and quiet, and it's finally come. actually it's just a lull till new years. it's so weird because i used to love it. of course it may have been the company i was keeping. maybe next year will be better. i sure as hell hope so!

true romance

jenny had her baby thursday and ash had her baby this morning. both girls. both healthy. all is good in the world.

went out to the magic kitchen for a little thai. was a first for nate and michelle. drank a little wine. picked up some more alcohol on the way home. did a little drinking. played some board games. it wasn't an extremely exciting night. but it was good to just chill. chilling is what we do best. tired. but not like last night when i couldn't make it through pirates of the carribean. had to watch it this morning. orlando bloom is still ungodly hot and johnny depp is right up there as well. oh to be the meat in that sandwich! mmmmm.

next weekend we're going down to carbondale and the weekend after that we're going to st. louis and then on to robinson to see some of my family. more babies to visit and oogle.

apes wrote aaron. wonder what prompted it. he mentioned dustin being in a new band. gotta find out the truth behind the myth. save it for next weekend.

rascal king

quiet day today. nick is out and hardly a soul has ventured down to my domain. listened to a few ringtones for my cell. hardly worth the money but it would be nice to have my own ring. i hate it when you're somewhere and someone has the same ringtone. i get all excited for nada. might go to a comedy show this weekend. we've pretty got every weekend booked this whole month. feeling a little popular for once. people actually like us.

family guy

long time since my last update. lots has happened since. nutshell: mass + band came and went. great seeing him. talked his ear off. always happens when we get together. spent thanksgiving at matt and kristin's. had a little bird and watched a little porn. funny how that came about. not a very long story...usually what happens when you have digital cable and a bunch of undersexed guys.

christmas is coming. tis this season. can't wait!

lip smacker

last night i went with leanne and her daughter to do a little shopping at a store that just opened up down the street. it was the first time i met her daughter and believe you me, leanne doesn't look like someone that has a 13 year old kid. you know that acronym m.i.l.f. that they refer to in the american pie movies. i can see leanne falling into that category easily. i guess that's one good thing about having your kids early in life.

the clothes they make the man

ok, so i'm retarded sometimes when it comes to my pooch. i was actually considering buying him a set of "dog shoes" to wear around matt & kristin's. they layed new floor and don't want his claws to scratch up the floor. and my reasoning. . . what better way to prevent that then to buy little dog booties! we went up to the pet store and put a pair on him, poor bosco. he acted like he had a broken leg and refused to put it down on the ground. it was the funniest sight i'd seen in a long time. he always seems to make me laugh. nonetheless, aaron wasn't gonna have his dog prancing around in some gay puppy shoes. i can't even believe he even consider it to begin with. but the sight quickly reminded him why it was a dumb idea! i'm silly!

as seen on tv

last night we went and saw elf with will farell. it was an okay movie. not really as funny as we were expecting it to be. a little disappointing in fact. i don't know what we were thinking. we wanted to see kill bill, but it's already left the theaters here, which we both found semi wierd. elf is a movie you'd take the kids to or wait for the video. definetly not worth the $7.50 to see in theaters.

i'm gonna try and go the whole day without turning on the tv. i know it sounds like an impossible feat. but it can be done. notice how i didn't say 24 hours. simpsons finally premiers tonight and you gotta see the simpsons. it's a staple to every young blooded americans diet of pop culture.

nick had his date last night. i should probably call to see how it went. i'll just wait til tomorrow. i'm sure nothing crazy happened, if it did i'd probably have a voice message waiting for me this morning.

sealed for your protection

it's so weird when you haven't seen somebody in over 10 years and you talk to them as if it were just yesterday. i'm not sure if it's better this way or not. i know i would have a difficult time being their friend now because we are so different. you go you're separate ways, but the anonymity of email makes you the same.

lawrence wrote me and told me he's starting up a little side project as a wedding photographer. "a dolphin's dream" is the name he chose and wants me to help design flyers. . . etc for him. i guess i'll do it. i'm not too excited about it. why did he have to go and choose a dorky name?

my dad just sent me an email from iraq. he's coming back later this week. i'll be so glad when he's back in the states. i'll have to shoot him a hello in a sec.

burn for you

i got an email from mass yesterday. squirtgun is coming to springfield november 20! can't wait to see him, it's been a long time since we last saw each other. if i remember correctly it was at warped tour 2001. so it's been over 2 years. crazy! it's cool that we've kept somewhat in touch.

i gotta come up with a place to eat for lunch. let me ponder. . .

she was a skater girl

i'm rolling around the office in some short shorts and 70s hair. everyone thinks i should wear my hair this way all the time. i'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

yesterday i let nate give me some highlights at his hair school. it was pretty funny. i sat there while everyone around me was working on these stationary heads. people were giving perms, rolling hair, cutting, there were even a few heads propped up on garbage cans under the hair dryers. that was definetly a funny sight to see. nick is there right now, getting his hair chopped. i think nate will feel better working on real people rather than those unblinking manaquins.

tonight is the halloween party down in carbondale. it should be a blast. maybe i'll attempt to post some photos in a future journal entry.

age is just a number

every time i look at the screen (while at work) the fonts for my journal are extremely tiny. i've got to bump up the size to 120% in order to read it. is this the beginning of the end for me? pretty soon the music is gonna be too loud and my bodily functions will work on their own. i can't wait!

throw in an upbeat tempo

ok, it's my quest to be more positive. impossible as it may be, i'll make an effort in some way or another. connie is going to meet with sharon today. . . so that's one good thing that's happened in the last 24 hours.

unfortunately for me i didn't win those roller skates on ebay. but to keep things positive. . . i should be able to find a cheaper pair at the goodwill that look beat up enough for my taste. did i forget to mention that i'm gonna be a "roller girl" for halloween this year? aaron has decided that he wants to be a crack whore so we've been on a quest to find him the sluttiest outfit known to man! we did manage to find him a pair of size 11 silver sandal. he's on a mission to find a tube top although i think a lingerie top and black bra would be much better. he's just not seeing my vision. i was hoping to find a furry short coat as well. we may have to look in the big city for one, especially one that will fit him! watch out carbondale, we're gonna be rolling into your town soon!

we bury our sins

i'm so easily annoyed, especially with those i work with. here goes a conversation i had last friday and the outcome that resulted.

s: do you mind if i call connie back to work with us?
me: heck no! i loved working with connie.
s: do you have a number i can reach her at?
me: i have her cell.

couple hours pass. i try and call connie to warn her about the impending phone call. cell number doesn't work. so i call heather who tells me to call jack who gives me connie's home number. i talk to connie and tell her what's up and she's down with talking with sharon and may consider coming back. so she gives me the green light to give sharon her home number. i give sharon her number. sharon, in turn, pulls beth aside and speaks to her about it. then they come back. place an ad in the sjr and call around to see if any of their friends can take the job. i hate beth, cause she's a big, fat baby and can't get over her insecurities. when are they gonna learn that no one is gonna stay in that position as long as beth is around. and we'll have to train someone new every 3 months because of it. if liking beth was a criteria for working here, this place would be pretty vacant.

eewy-gooey

i've reached a point in my life where i am surrounded by babies. either it's the couple trying to conceive or the ones who are seven months along or the ones who already have a little one in tow. then i start to ponder if that could be me, if it should be me. i was so anti procreate, now i'm finding that the hard anti-baby shell being bombarded with one baby after another. and i'm all baby-gooey on the inside after all. when any little one steps into a room the shell gets another chip in it. i think i want one all to myself, where i'm the most important person in someones life. i think most parents feel that way. i know it's a feeling of selfishness, but boy does it feel good when your kid wants no one but you. maybe i need to rethink this... give it a test run or something along those lines. i'm sure i'll change my mind if i had to deal with it on a daily basis.

wasted days

so i went this morning and got a haircut, i'm actually happy with it. the girl did a great job and did exactly what i asked. so i didn't have to pretend that i liked it, it was genuine! unbelievable.

our big "family" meeting is this evening. i don't anticipate anything to come of it. all i know is that a lot of things are gonna finally be said. and there will be no denying the feelings and emotions anymore. it's all gonna be laid out in front and he can take it for what it is or continue to be oblivious. all of us find it hard to believe that he can't see how unhappy the rest of the family is. it's just so sad, i think his relationship with the boys, especially nate, has been damaged. i'll be surprised if nate has anything to do with him anymore. we'll have to see how things do turn out. i'm not sure if being a pessimist is such a good thing but if i were an optimist i'm almost positive i'd be hugely disappointed.

insomniac

so today i decided that work can do without me. it's the first time i've called in "sick" in a long time. you ever have one of those nights where sleep never comes? i had one last night. i stayed up til about 3 then layed in bed the rest of the night, tossing and turning. i still wasn't asleep when the alarm went off this morning. so i took it upon myself to skip work. cause i know i'd be crabby/bitchy if i went. so i did everyone a favor. nonetheless, didn't have a good sleep this morning either. i kept feeling i was awake when i was asleep, it's not a great feeling.

i did see the "hey ya" video at about 2:45am so all was not wasted.

learn to code

so we hire this guy to help me out with the online form (and general web stuff) for our site. basically i did most of it myself. but there was one thing i couldn't figure out so i give him a call. instead of telling me to delete the handle name (i couldn't get rid of the handle) he says there's some type of script i have to put in to make the handles disappear. so he says he's gonna walk me through it next time. he sends me back the original, with the updated "coding" and all he did was delete the handle. no special script, no nothing. i'm not a web guru but i know a little and it didn't take a genius to figure that one out!

hoosier love

i'm completely bored. last night i crashed early cause i felt like poop and tonight i'm surfing lj, reading random posts of people i don't even know while trying to watch "hey ya" online. 56k modems suck for both. i don't even know why the m in mtv stands for music cause about 99% of what's on there has nothing to do with it. i watched a whole hour of direct effect to no avail. i need another fix of that video. i might have to ask joe to download it for me so i can overplay it and drive it into the ground for those around me. there's just something about the graphics and the song that really shake my tailfeather. i'm such a dork!

i think i'm going to go to that saves the day show, still haven't asked carrie. she emailed me today so i'll ask her about it tomorrow. aaron said something about going to see phantom planet in november, not sure how i feel about that one.

i should probably send a quick hello to candace. haven't talked to her in a long time. last time i was in town, i found out from sherry she was doing an apprenticeship with darren king. this was all new news to everyone involved. i wonder if dustin knows yet. i'm sure he does, news travels fast in small towns. i can't really believe it, but in a way i can. one more surprising thing to learn about her!

precious memories

you would think once you hit the age of 50 you would know how to conduct yourself in a somewhat civilized manner. we get this invite to attend a "surprise party" for mark this weekend. of course no word of this has been mentioned to us til today. it's not like we live in town and don't have anything else going on in our lives. but jane lives in her own little world, where everyone revolves around her. and we can drop everything we're doing to appease her.

i mean there's a lot of history here that i haven't mentioned, and it would probably help if i gave a little background information. unfortunately, that would get my blood to boiling and i wouldn't be able the function the rest of the day. she's sucked mark into her little world... and frankly i don't see an end to anything til one of the boys says something. aaron is on the verge. nate could care less. and poor dan, he has to endure it all.

hey, jane. aaron's birthday is on monday. maybe we already have plans to celebrate it. maybe you should remind mark about his son's birthday. maybe you should just go away! i think that would make everyone happy.

short and curly

i need a new do. this one is getting tired and old. i've been wearing my hair up all summer long just because it's easier to manage. i need something where i can roll out of bed in the a.m., give my head a little shake and poof...my hair looks marvelous. yeah right. with this afro o mine i should be so lucky. i'll schedule an appointment today. maybe this time i can fess up and say "duh, that's not the look i was going for." i'm so nice though...so it probably won't happen.

so fresh and so clean

i saw the new outkast video the other day, and me likey a lot. there's something about it that makes me all gushy inside, have yet to put my finger on it. there must be something subliminal that's making me feel this way. maybe when i see it again i can figure out what it is.

the spawn of . . .

headed up to chicago this weekend. not for a social engagement but to find stuff for the house. apparently ikea has tons of stuff for cheap. and i love me some cheap stuff. it's so funny how priorities start to change. before it was head to st. louis or chicago for a show, now it's head to chicago or st. louis for some home decor! actually, saves the day plays on the 7th of oct. i gotta find out if carrie still wants to go, or anyone for that matter. i may even go solo. that'll be a first.

i walk the line

is it possible to become addicted to cold medicine? some people use alcohol to drink themselves into a stupor, but my drink of choice has become cold medicine. not really to get f**ked up, but to get some zz's. it's not like i'm taking an exorbent amount...i'm taking the recommended dosage, but man does it do a number on me. i'm out within an hour or two...where it would ususally take 6 or 7. i'm not addicted, just use it to enhance my sleep pattern. yeah. that sounds good!

bear in a big blue house

we had the worst waiter ever last night. first of all he wasn't very friendly, and we're probably the friendliest people he'll ever encounter. second of all, he spilled my lemonade (the whole glass) all over me, i'm talking butt drenching wet. third of all, my order was all screwed up, my pasta was way overcooked and drenched in alfredo sauce (which i didn't order) i should have sent it back...but i'm so paranoid someone will spit or hauck something in my food for being difficult. i just sucked it up. picked at my meal, ate about 1/16th of it. at least i got a free dessert. i was so ready to get out of there. at least my butt was halfway dry by the time we left. i am feeling the stomach grumbling now...time for some real food.

smash the disco

Went out last night. First time in a long time around here. Nate wanted to have a few drinks before heading south. He had a few and then some. That boy can hold his liquor! It's cool having him around again. Nick got obliterated, made a few calls, threatened a few lives. Very surprised to see him this morning. Gonna have lunch together in a few.

Working weekends suck... forcast for Saturday... RAIN. This is why I don't volunteer for work. Passing out soggy papers to nobody sounds like a real fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon. I don't know if it'd be better if the sun were shining. Then I'd hate having to be there when I could be doing something else. Work just sucks... plain an simple.

scratch that itch

Drink, drank, drunk!

You've spent 26 years of your life avoiding the bottle. Threatening to reject those who touch it. We spent long nights discussing/arguing about the merits of alcohol. In the end, your logic always prevailed. So what did it take to make you take that first sip? And keep on sipping. Disappointed? Not really. Slowly the pedestal I've placed you on is crumbling. The person I knew is gone. I have to admit that to myself.

The things you say...

It's been quite a while since I last posted anything. Another vacation is approaching fast. Actually can't wait to get out of here once again. The beach is calling and it's time for me to answer. Ta for now.

simple minds.

Back to the hustle and bustle of this so-called life o'mine! Vegas was great. Took tons of pics, definetly didn't want to come back to the below zero temps and snow. The Vagina Monologues are tonight, I really don't have a desire to go. Maybe I'll call Nick and see if he's up for it. If not we can just crash the reception and ease out of the actual show. Aaron's on call tonight and just informed me that he's got to see five more patients before he can head home...so that means I probably won't see him for another 5 hours. I think he's happy that this month is finally over. I know I am.

vegas baby!

Tomorrow we depart for a short stint in Vegas. I can hardly wait. Snow and freezing cold I can really do without! I'm betting I'll see someone famous, cause for some reason, everyone who's anyone spends a little R&R there. I wish I didn't have to come back. Maybe we'll get stuck there and I won't have too come back for months!!! One can only dream!

food galore! the pot-luck from hell.

The problem with having a potluck in the middle of a workday is that it takes every ounce of motivation/energy to go back to work afterwards. And for some of us, it's truly impossible. Hence, the well-managed time spent here! Well I have had somewhat of a productive workday. I've been turning out ads like they're going out of style. Sometimes I'm a big dork with my overused and outdone comments.

The weekend, however, awaits. No special plans as of this second. Of course things may always change in an instant. I'll keep you updated.

i guess it's time to get on the bandwagon.

I'll keep this short and sweet (just like me). Keeping this updated is going to be the hardest thing for me to do, if not impossible. If you know me, you'll know this isn't an understatement.

So what exactly is on my mind. Not too much. My fingers are like ice. Someone just called and asked if the guy on the cover was David...I tell him no. "Are you sure?" I'm pretty sure. I mean I took the photo and all. Why do people ask such dumb questions. Random thought jump...I'm famous for these, in writing as well as verbally, so prepare yourselves.

Work always beckons...actually I'm lying, I just don't know what else to say. So here's to my first post!