turbulance

"the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign, please remain seated for the remainder of the flight."

if this plane crashes and all that is left are bits and pieces strewn about the grand canyon, will there be enough of me to identify? will they find my drivers license in my back pocket where i put it for convenience? will they find my new engagement ring or any of the rings i wore today? will they find my tattoos or fragments of them charred almost unrecognizable? will they find my new mouth full of metal that would withstand the heat and flame? i'm getting too old to fly.

insomnia

why can't anyone be on here when i can't sleep? catering to me should be everyones top priority. wake up, damn you!

so i left for vegas with $75 in my wallet and i came back with $80. that technically makes me a winner. i did purchase an awesome blazer and would have easily spent more if i had more time and won more money. curse long weekends in vegas...you can't see or do everything you'd like. i'll write more about the actual weekend at more suitable time.

helmets are un-american

there's a truck driving around springfield with those very words plastered to its backside. i won't even begin to explain everything wrong with it.

i'm not quite done rummaging through all my old photos. i threw away close to 200 photos tonight. did a lot of purging. i did save some choice photos which i will probably post soon. be ready to laugh at who you were and what you were wearing in the late 90s. i think i went through 20 hairstyles in that time.

sing me to sleep

it feels so good to actually sleep in for a change! it is now 1:30 and i've been awake approximately 20 minutes. so half my day is wasted away, i'll be well rested for tonight. the tarbox ramblers are playing at underground. my work is somehow sponsoring the event. i got free tickets, so we'll be out and about this evening.

i need to clean my house. i told myself that i would have it cleaned by the time aaron gets back from indiana. so far, nada. i keep getting sucked into watching csi and law and order. damn the networks for syndicating these shows. i've got 3 hours to get this house ship-shape. it's a good thing i'm spending 15 minutes of that precious time posting a blog.

i'm off.

the mastermind

i knew i wouldn't rest til i figured out why i hated tc so much. now that i recall the reason, i almost don't want to say it out loud. so here it goes. tc was a rumor starter in my high school. i find out from a friend of a friend that she's spreading this horrible rumor about me. what could be so horrific that i would want to run her over with my car. not that i'm slutty or have a third nipple. she was telling everyone how frigid i was, how i was the ice queen. i know, how stupid am i for even caring. and it's not like she even knew me or the inner workings of my "relationships." but for some reason this bothered the hell out of me. i'm sure there was a culmination of other reasons why i disliked her, but this was probably the straw.

a year later a new rumor surfaces. now i'm the complete opposite of what i once was. apparently i was completely naked, begging for sex and was turned down/rejected by my "boyfriend." unbelievable, i know. me, naked and begging for sex. ha, that's a good one. and what high school boy do you know would turn down sex. at least come up with a believable rumor. now i laugh...ha.

i'll let bygones be. it's been almost 15 years. hopefully some of us have done some growing up. if not, i've got a bigger car with a v6, it'd be in her best interest to watch her back!

biting the bullet

since there isn't a single person (cept maybe brian) that i would take a bullet for, i've decided to keep my top 8 people-free. fortunatly for me i have exactly 8 bands, so it wasn't a hard decision, almost like it was meant to be. when i think about it, i might have to re-evaluate my logic...when you swerve into traffic to avoid a squirrel, you might be more prone to save someone elses life than your own.

now that's gotten me thinking about the one time i actually wanted to run someone over. i can't even remember what this person did to me. but i do remember the hatred i felt towards her. that if i saw her, i'd step on the gas and gun her down. it seems so trivial, that i actually thought about someones demise at my own hands or feet. if i remember correctly...i think it was about a boy, a car, and some lipstick...nah, that can't be right. cause she wasn't the one who actually did it...but she was friends with her...damn it....now i won't rest till i remember. like i said, trivial.

vegas in 1 1/2 weeks. only for a long weekend, but it'll be a nice break from the patch. maybe we'll get hitched while there. still no date set, but i think we've narrowed it down to the month of novemeber. at this rate we'll be getting married hopefully this century.

the party that never ends

fortunately for me i will have yet another opportunity to bust out boy george friday night! since aaron and most of his attendings went to atlanta this past weekend for a surgery conference, buesher decided she's gonna have a costume party and keep the halloween spirit alive a couple more days! awesome. i actually did dress up today for work, but it was wasted on people who don't appreciate or have the spirit! diane did dress up...so i give her props. everyone else...lame!

i think i can count on two hands the number of trick-o-treaters we had tonight. we ended up handing out fistfuls of the candy we bought. rain's not gonna stop the faithful.

aaron got his seats from busch stadium today. it's so weird that someone was actually sitting in them a few weeks ago. what's really cool is there's gum stuck to the bottom of them! i think he's gonna pry it off, i told him it would decrease the value... it's what makes them authentic.

i'ma man without conviction

the costume is coming along...diane dug out an old shirt for me which was EXACTLY what i needed. with a few modifications it'll be perfect. the wig i bought is now a tangled mess. and it gives me a headache five minutes after i put it on. (cheap plastic piece of crap) i'll either have to start drinking or take a lot of drugs to tolerate it an entire night. i think i'm gonna purchase a 10 foot tract of lucious hair from sally's. and go with extensions. i'm sure i'll find other ways to use the rest, one can wonder.

tomorrow we walk. i hope the sun peeps out. i hate getting up early on rainy days, especially saturdays.

the queen of near hit and miss

i'm the queen of nearly hitting and missing cars in front of me. yesterday i almost smashed into a car that pulled out in front of me....here's me: "hey lady, hey lady, HEY LADY!" i swerved into oncoming traffic...luckily the truck barreling towards me was 20 yards away. don't know what would have been worse, me hitting her head on or me hitting the truck head on. either or i would have had a demolished car. after composing myself, i looked back and the lady had this dumbfounded look on her face. cross-traffic does not stop....that means me lady, i'm not stopping! that red, octogon thing in front of you - use it! it'll help keep my heart in my chest and keep our cars out of the junk yard.

playoff game in 3 hours and counting. woo-hoo! go cards!

sour puss

i've had five today and my tongue is ripped to shreds. come to read the contents, yep, acid the main ingredient. next time you see me i'll be tongueless. it's a small price to pay.

aaron nailed me with a line drive sunday in our softball game. no bruise yet, just a huge knot. everyone thought it hit my shoe, it was that loud. good thing it's getting colder out and i'm pretty much wearing jeans full time. or else he'd have hell to pay! ;)

tomorrow night nate, katie, aaron and i are heading to st. louis for the cardinals/astros nlcs playoff game. we got bleacher seats...paid more than we should have, but i'm sure it'll be worth it. last year we went to a division playoff game and it was crazy how much different it was than a regular game. we're slowly building up to going to a world series. slowly!

i haven't updated this i a long time. so i'm briefly catching up.

danny started his own website: murphytales.com
he's already gotten in trouble for it! had to dismantle a whole section. the boy is clever, witty and a bit of a nerd...wonder who he gets that from! i can't believe how much he's growing up! man, i'm getting old!

blink, blink

i'm officially off the market! not that i ever was "on" the market.

since tuesday of last week i've had a ring on the finger. after 7 1/2 years aaron's made it official. no details to speak of. but i have come to find that once you get engaged people automatically assume you have a date set. we have nothing. it'll probably be another 7 years before we do that...j/k. set the date that is.

major bling going on, he did well. i love it! and him of course! i'm gay.

i remember nothing.

i went to post a comment and low and behold, i've got a blogger account. old age sucks or the fact i have these things all over the place!

a smoke and a pancake

whoop-whoop! i have actually been getting off my lazy butt and working out. yesterday, a bike ride. the weekend, a little golf. some bootcamp in between. i'm gonna be ripped! ha! i feel a little bit better about myself. tv sucks me into this void, where i find myself spending hours on end watching one meaningless show after another. can't . . . seem to . . . break free- it's grip is just too powerful. maybe if i keep working out i can shed the shackles. blow-out begins tonight...what to do.

wicked

rachel's been getting a ton of compliments on the invites. i need to seriously think about breaking off and doing my own thing. especially now. i really have no desire to work additional hours then i do now. so it's either all or not. what shall i do? i keep pondering but nothing happens. first step...website of some kind. gotta get myself out there. maybe business cards...

hmmmmm.

tall, mocha frappacino with whip cream

i walked into starbucks the other day and the lady knew what i wanted before i wanted it. that tells me i've become a coffee whore! i'm basically paying 3 bucks for a shot of pure, mouth-watering pleasure. and what's funny about the whole thing - - i hate coffee. disguise it with chocolate, milk and whipped cream, i'm all yours. must put a cap on these as well.

the dirty bird

donnie and sarah came up to springfield this weekend, so i actually ventured out saturday evening. first stop. nick's, where we proceeded to mix the brazilian alcoholic beverage concoction jane left in my car a few weeks ago. it contains little packets of lime-flavored kool-aid like powder and a bottle of some type of alcohol. we're guessing white tequila. of course, being americans we have no idea what the equivilent doses we're supposed to use (damn, the metric system) so we make educated guesses, and by the taste of it, i'm pretty sure we guessed wrong. it tasted like a really, really bad margarita. we decided it would be a drink you'd have after you've had about 20 other consumable drinks.

next stop. floyd's. met up with katie, nate, donnie and sarah. nothing too spectacular. only thing to note is that the waitress spilled an entire glass of guiness on sarah. soaked her through and through. we got a few free drinks out of it, but decided to leave soon after.

headed to catch 22. guys had to pay $5 to get in. where they didn't even have a band or comp you a drink. what a rip-off. our stay was short.

finally. we head to the dirty bird (or rockin robins) seriously if you ever want to feel good about yourself, this is where you go! it's completely like going back to a high school dance. the music is all over the place. one minute they'll play old rap songs, then shift to slow dance music and then they'll throw in a little country. and the people. what can i say, a lot of springfield's finest. if someone asks to go to a dance club in springfield, the dirty bird is always my top pick! it's got comedy, music, dancing and cheap booze. the waitresses are hot and the dance floor lights up. i even got to hear paula abdul's "straight up," that totally made the trip worth it!

i just got home from work 30 minutes ago. i hate special issues. i hate working on a holiday. i hate not getting paid. i hate being tired the rest of the week. i hate being rushed. i hate my boss. ok, i'm going to bed now. so i can stop being a hater.

raspberry lemonade

yum! perfect on a day like today. a shot of vodka makes it even better. aaron's in ken-tuc-ky for chad's wedding! i'm bored. my house is spotless, or pretty close. i need some entertainment! i'm thinking about making an appearance out tonight. look for me!

the disturbed and weird

this guy adds me as a friend on myspace and then writes me a little note letting me know that i was added. he says he's from st. louis. st. clair to be exact. so i respond asking if he lives in fairview, cause stupid me thinking st. clair is a county not a city. he then responds by telling me i should read his profile if i want answers and not just add him because he looks good and will look good on my friends list. (here is where i insert the biggest WHATEVER!) he then takes me off his friends list. this is where you say "ah, so that's how you act like a tool!" sometimes myspace can be annoying. i actually got pissed about this, i just couldn't believe it. give me an a.k., i'm about to go on a rampage.

we watched a disturbing movie called "stevie." it was about a guy that was a big brother to this kid about 15 years ago. he goes back to visit him to see how his life has turned out since and decides to make a documentary about it. goes to show, things are not that great for the guy, he's on the verge of going to prison for sexual child abuse. okay, it's not that disturbing, we see that every day in the news/media. but what was crazy was this all happened in pomona, which is right outside of murphy. we're about 15 minutes into the movie and they introduce the guy's fiance and it's someone all of us recognize. she went to school with aaron and was a year ahead of him. i recognized her cause she worked at the mall while i was working there. it was so crazy to think that all that was going on in the movie was happening while she was working at the mall. and she and this guy probably came into kb at one time or another. it felt sorta surreal. and the topper of all toppers was that sherry's in-laws, brandon's parents, were foster parents to this guy and they interviewed them for the movie. talk about a small world. it's so weird to realize that there are lives going on besides yours and the world doesn't revolve around you.

if it ain't fresh, it ain't me

there was a double murder here a couple of days ago. the guy that was killed was the funky-fresh barber. apparently he was a cool guy with a ton of friends. i'm sure the police will catch those responsible soon, if not the community will. they showed up in the masses when they heard. i feel a public lynching in the works.

did you read my blog about body parts? apparently it's not such a far-fetched notion. someone found a pair of legs just off the interstate here monday. there's an unclaimed torso the police found last year outside of st. louis. the two crimes could be related.

and you thought nothing happens here in the midwest.

curse free day 1: i give myself an F

@$!K

when i was in high school i remember going to a club where they played alternative music. i.e. rage against the machine. i distinctly remember moshing or whatever i did at the time and singing/yelling along with the music. "fuck you, i won't do what you tell me!" and i remember looking over and seeing these guys making fun of me. yelling in their highest pitched german voices, "fuck you, i won't do what you tell me!" i didn't get upset. i just realized they were right. i did sound stupid. those words didn't sound right coming out of my mouth. so i made an attempt to stop cursing, which wasn't too hard back then. usually i resorted to a german curse, if i felt the urge.

when i worked at kb toys i always had to be aware of what i said and how i said it. fudge was my word of choice. fudge this, fudge that. sounded pretty funny but somewhat appropriate coming out of my mouth. so i sorta prided myself for not cursing.

today. i'm a sailor. every other word is usually a curse. under my breath, at the top of my lungs, doesn't matter. new goal: control the curse, once again. this may be impossible, especially with some of the people i work with. i'm pretty sure they're the sole reason for my demise!

i just wanted to see what horny looked like, i'm really not...or am i!

btw. marley makes an appearance tomorrow.