the dirty bird

donnie and sarah came up to springfield this weekend, so i actually ventured out saturday evening. first stop. nick's, where we proceeded to mix the brazilian alcoholic beverage concoction jane left in my car a few weeks ago. it contains little packets of lime-flavored kool-aid like powder and a bottle of some type of alcohol. we're guessing white tequila. of course, being americans we have no idea what the equivilent doses we're supposed to use (damn, the metric system) so we make educated guesses, and by the taste of it, i'm pretty sure we guessed wrong. it tasted like a really, really bad margarita. we decided it would be a drink you'd have after you've had about 20 other consumable drinks.

next stop. floyd's. met up with katie, nate, donnie and sarah. nothing too spectacular. only thing to note is that the waitress spilled an entire glass of guiness on sarah. soaked her through and through. we got a few free drinks out of it, but decided to leave soon after.

headed to catch 22. guys had to pay $5 to get in. where they didn't even have a band or comp you a drink. what a rip-off. our stay was short.

finally. we head to the dirty bird (or rockin robins) seriously if you ever want to feel good about yourself, this is where you go! it's completely like going back to a high school dance. the music is all over the place. one minute they'll play old rap songs, then shift to slow dance music and then they'll throw in a little country. and the people. what can i say, a lot of springfield's finest. if someone asks to go to a dance club in springfield, the dirty bird is always my top pick! it's got comedy, music, dancing and cheap booze. the waitresses are hot and the dance floor lights up. i even got to hear paula abdul's "straight up," that totally made the trip worth it!

i just got home from work 30 minutes ago. i hate special issues. i hate working on a holiday. i hate not getting paid. i hate being tired the rest of the week. i hate being rushed. i hate my boss. ok, i'm going to bed now. so i can stop being a hater.

raspberry lemonade

yum! perfect on a day like today. a shot of vodka makes it even better. aaron's in ken-tuc-ky for chad's wedding! i'm bored. my house is spotless, or pretty close. i need some entertainment! i'm thinking about making an appearance out tonight. look for me!

the disturbed and weird

this guy adds me as a friend on myspace and then writes me a little note letting me know that i was added. he says he's from st. louis. st. clair to be exact. so i respond asking if he lives in fairview, cause stupid me thinking st. clair is a county not a city. he then responds by telling me i should read his profile if i want answers and not just add him because he looks good and will look good on my friends list. (here is where i insert the biggest WHATEVER!) he then takes me off his friends list. this is where you say "ah, so that's how you act like a tool!" sometimes myspace can be annoying. i actually got pissed about this, i just couldn't believe it. give me an a.k., i'm about to go on a rampage.

we watched a disturbing movie called "stevie." it was about a guy that was a big brother to this kid about 15 years ago. he goes back to visit him to see how his life has turned out since and decides to make a documentary about it. goes to show, things are not that great for the guy, he's on the verge of going to prison for sexual child abuse. okay, it's not that disturbing, we see that every day in the news/media. but what was crazy was this all happened in pomona, which is right outside of murphy. we're about 15 minutes into the movie and they introduce the guy's fiance and it's someone all of us recognize. she went to school with aaron and was a year ahead of him. i recognized her cause she worked at the mall while i was working there. it was so crazy to think that all that was going on in the movie was happening while she was working at the mall. and she and this guy probably came into kb at one time or another. it felt sorta surreal. and the topper of all toppers was that sherry's in-laws, brandon's parents, were foster parents to this guy and they interviewed them for the movie. talk about a small world. it's so weird to realize that there are lives going on besides yours and the world doesn't revolve around you.

if it ain't fresh, it ain't me

there was a double murder here a couple of days ago. the guy that was killed was the funky-fresh barber. apparently he was a cool guy with a ton of friends. i'm sure the police will catch those responsible soon, if not the community will. they showed up in the masses when they heard. i feel a public lynching in the works.

did you read my blog about body parts? apparently it's not such a far-fetched notion. someone found a pair of legs just off the interstate here monday. there's an unclaimed torso the police found last year outside of st. louis. the two crimes could be related.

and you thought nothing happens here in the midwest.

curse free day 1: i give myself an F

@$!K

when i was in high school i remember going to a club where they played alternative music. i.e. rage against the machine. i distinctly remember moshing or whatever i did at the time and singing/yelling along with the music. "fuck you, i won't do what you tell me!" and i remember looking over and seeing these guys making fun of me. yelling in their highest pitched german voices, "fuck you, i won't do what you tell me!" i didn't get upset. i just realized they were right. i did sound stupid. those words didn't sound right coming out of my mouth. so i made an attempt to stop cursing, which wasn't too hard back then. usually i resorted to a german curse, if i felt the urge.

when i worked at kb toys i always had to be aware of what i said and how i said it. fudge was my word of choice. fudge this, fudge that. sounded pretty funny but somewhat appropriate coming out of my mouth. so i sorta prided myself for not cursing.

today. i'm a sailor. every other word is usually a curse. under my breath, at the top of my lungs, doesn't matter. new goal: control the curse, once again. this may be impossible, especially with some of the people i work with. i'm pretty sure they're the sole reason for my demise!

i just wanted to see what horny looked like, i'm really not...or am i!

btw. marley makes an appearance tomorrow.

incriminating evidence

I think of you everynight, at times like this I feel the pain.
I've dug a hole too deep to get out of and I'm about to go insane.
I've done this a million times, I've wrote a million songs.
I know you're not a part of my life and I know this is totally wrong.
My answers obviously blatent, its right here in my face.
I try to look past it but I see it every place.

(why won't I let you go away from me)

So much time has passed, things are so different now.
I try to confront it, honestly I do but I don't know how.
I know that only I care and the blame for this is mine.
But I hope you know that if it weren't for you, I would be doing just fine.

(chorus)

When you read this know it's about you
Know there is nothing else I could do
Maybe I will be lucky and get a reponse
I am still alive too.........

Maybe I won't let you go because you are all I know.
Maybe I am too scarred to not have you there.
I've needed you here, this whole time
I need you to tell me I'm doing just fine.....

**i got this in an email a long time ago (7/12/2000 to be exact). i saved it, just like i save everything. you probably don't even remember writing this. you're a rockstar now, touring the country! but i know you're humble beginnings!

eye contact

so i gave myself a goal to make more eye contact with people than i usually do. which is usually none at all. now i realize why i don't. eye contact seems to be an open invitation that i want you to wave at me from across the bar. walk by me 20x and stare me down while doing so. so much for my attempt to be friendly, from now on i will refrain from making direct eye contact. thank the creepy guy wearing the bandana, he ruined it for all of you. it may be another 30 years before i take on the challenge again.

on another note. when did garbage bags on the side of the road change from being full of money to being full of body parts? too many movies/reality crime drama have skewed my view. don't get me wrong, i'm still optimistic i'm gonna score some cash someday. but not in the form of a garbage bag. more like a black duffle bag, with double-pull zippers.

chris murray wanted to be my friend. . . i feel good! sore, but good!

achy breaky body

so dodgeball and barbque were a success this weekend. had a fun time at both. today i'm feeling it big time. my old age is catching up with me! the water won' t heat up so i can soak my aching muscles. i'll have to try again shortly. i'll post some photos i took. although i didn't take too many this time. wasn't feeling the flow.



quick recap: friday night- hangar til close. heard a couple of good bands went to chris and jason's afterwards. stayed a very short time. i think when they started chucking barbque brickets we, or i should say i, decided it was time to leave. saturday- dodgeball, hour and a half of fun-filled action. we were all feeling it by the time we finished. i was drenched with sweat after the first 2 games. i think we played 10 or more games probably won more than half. we rule! barbque at steve and betsy's afterwards. turned out to be great. plenty of people, food and fun. decided to hit up the bars in murphy. gave marge a boost in sales. don't think she appreciated it nor the regulars. headed to day night, younger crowd. lots of familar faces, not to me of course. did get to see tim, he makes me happy! stayed to close. called it a night. today-breakfast at harbaughs. the food tasted fantastic. i don't know why but it was the best breakfast ever! maybe not ever. but it was good. 3 hour drive back. no hot water. muscles aching. bed calling.

bobble head

tomorrow i have a feeling i will be illustrating a funny email i got today. i did this once before. nick and i sent emails back and forth to each other all day illustrating our coworkers and each other. we've got a new crop to animate, so this should be interesting and fun.

sometimes it hurts

sometimes i can't believe some people. in fact, i have to laugh out loud when i even think about it. a friend of mine has girls actually sending him naked pictures of themselves via myspace. i'm not sure of the dialogue going on between them but apparently it doesn't take much to get a naked email. maybe it's the anonymousness of myspace that these girls are under the assumption they'll never meet in person. what am i doing, i can't logically decipher what's going on in the minds of these woman. i'll just keep laughing so hard it hurts. yeah, i'm laughing at you.

i.d. please

one of the perks of dating a dermatologist...free facial peels. aaron gave me another one last night. this one is starting to lightly crust over. it just looks like a bad sunburn. the one i had in march was way worse. it looked like i got beat down and dragged along a gravel road. don't know if i'll do that again. maybe i'll post the pic...

another thing when dating a dermatologist, you begin to know a little too much about skin disorders. pretty soon i'll have to charge a consulting fee to all my friends. don't worry, i'll only charge half. ha! and, of course, sunscreen becomes your best friend. if you ever need it, i have it. just ask!

agenda

so my boss found a promo campaign that she thinks is absolutely adorable. little dogs dressed like little people. so my duty today is to somehow corral marley into an outfit and make her sit for a photo shoot. i've got the outfit. a little stars and stripes number. only problem. he's a little too big for the jacket. i've gotta modify and sew to make it fit. this should be fun. ha. the things i have to do to make a living.

1000 words

i wish my eyes were instant cameras. they'd be more useful that way. for instance: old man on moped (the kind that looks like a bike) with blue laundry basket attached to the back - with little white dog looking out - waiting for the light to change. maybe i should just carry my camera with me all the time. but, alas, it wouldn't be the same. by the time i pulled it out, fixed the settings, the moment would have passed. camera eyes would be so much better.

blast from the past

funny how a random childhood memory will hit you out of nowhere. okay, maybe not out of nowhere, but pretty close. while driving home today for lunch, i passed a couple of kids jumping on a trampoline. first thought: i wonder how many broken bones are attributed to trampoline related accidents. then i remembered when i was in the 5th grade my friends and i would pay a lady to jump on a trampoline. i lived in korea at the time, in a gated apartment complex. and just outside the "back gate" there were these little mom and pop shops where we would buy candy and whatnots. a little further down the road, a lady had set up a trampoline compound with 6 tramps set up 3x2. mind you, these were not the highest quality tramps, i seem to recall lots of springs missing and patches in the tarps. they were, however, enclosed in netting (at least our body parts wouldn't go flying all over the place). and every chance we got, we'd pay the lady 100 won (i think it was about 25 cents) to jump for 10 minutes. two of the tramps were close to the apartment complex barbed-wired walls. and if you bounced high enough, you could see your apartment. this memory was almost clear as day. crazy how that happens. the other thing about this lady i remember is what she sold. i don't think it has a real name, but it was sugar that you'd melt over a small burner (yes, i was handling open flames at this age) in a modified ladle. you'd stir it with a chopstick and when it became the right consistancy you'd put a dab of baking powder to make it puff up. let cool, and presto instant sugar high. i'm gonna conclude this was the gateway into my current addiction. thank you, trampoline lady.

you adore me

okay, i'm a voyeur. i admit it. i read what you have to say. and i know more about you then you think. it's my secret obsession. it's why myspace is so addicting. half of you don't know who i am, half of you could care less. you're reading this, do you have this same affliction?

bug free and loving it

so i have this paronia about creepy, crawly insects. the kind that bother you in your sleep. you know the feeling. when you're lying there, on the verge of sleep and consciousness and you feel something crawling along your backside or up your arm. i cringe just thinking about it. then there's that fly that keeps buzzing by your ear. the one that flys by every 10 minutes so you can fall asleep long enough to wake up again. i read/saw somewhere that the average person swallows 3 spiders a year in their sleep. i'm building a bubble to ensure i'm not a statistic.

gonna bring a broom tonight to the cardinals game. feel it boston. although it just got 20x darker in the last 10 minutes. tornado time?!?

only in her mind

friday: party at carrie's
circles colliding - not so much. it's all in her mind. 3 separate groups, all in the same place, not too much mingling going on. bonfire drinking games rule...1,2,3 drink. ramen noodle break at 3am, yum. home by 4.

saturday: party/show at some house, inject deja vu (early college days)
band plays a few songs, cops bust in, kick everyone out. i score 7 bucks. party moves to lost cross. aaron and friends depart, head for the cellar. hung with carrie, candace, timmy and jen. boones farm in a ghetto sleeve, yes! photo frenzy from here on out. crazy, asian tourist walking the streets of carbondale. did manage to create a human pyramid sometime during the evening. soon i'll let the pictures do the talking. home by 2am.

coming to a town near you

i'll be making an appearance in the 'dale. start high stepping it over to see me right - not now, but now! carrie's having a bday bash that sounds interesting. when circles collide and the moon is full something is bound to happen. i'm not sure about the moon being full, but i'm sure i'll have something to report after this weekend.

what the heck are kudos? someone enlighten me.

you are dismissed

and i wonder why i hate this job. connie was terminated today. i can't say fired, terminated just seems a little less harsh. nick called me before i left home and told me she was already gone. sometimes i wonder how some people can live their lives as cruel, insensitive beings. i wonder how other people can tolerate or stand them on a daily basis. i wonder why i've put up with it this long. i've never been one to stick around negative people when i don't have to. it's just a f*cking job. and the biggest kicker of them all, sharon actually asked me to call connie to get/beg her to come back to the illinois times last year after she quit. wtf. this is the beginning of the downward spiral, i feel it.

since i've been here, people who have left or were fired*

carolyn, barbara, laurel, megan, heather, jennifer, jeff, candice, judy, cindy, linda, melissa, brad, tim, angela, dominick, janeen, rauchaun, tracy, patrick, jack, allison, pete, todd, leanne, julie, adam, etc... i'm sure i'm forgetting a few

i've been here almost 4 years...that's pathetic.

furry legs and peni spotting

memphis in may, baby!

this weekend we made the 6 hour trek to memphis. had a great time listening to tunes, people watching, and fair food eating! 3 days, 3 stages and i'm here to talk about it. ha! ok. actually about 80% of the music was not my cup of tea. not too into the hippie-groove/jam thang. but the bands we did see, totally rocked. highlights include but not limited to: billy idol, the killers, elvis costello, war, jack johnson and spin doctors. unfortunately we missed jerry lee lewis, who i would have loved to have seen. and lisa marie (if you're in memphis it's practically a sin not too). i did however see, not one but 2 penises, a lot of hairy legs (on girls), mud wrestling (it rained all day friday), tons of braless women and a lot of green (pot, to those not in on the drug jargon). all in all it was a funtastic time. no cameras at a music festival, it makes no sense to me. next time i'll sneak a camera in.

my dvd came today. i need to see if it's going to make me the prodigy it promises!

susan, out!