incriminating evidence

I think of you everynight, at times like this I feel the pain.
I've dug a hole too deep to get out of and I'm about to go insane.
I've done this a million times, I've wrote a million songs.
I know you're not a part of my life and I know this is totally wrong.
My answers obviously blatent, its right here in my face.
I try to look past it but I see it every place.

(why won't I let you go away from me)

So much time has passed, things are so different now.
I try to confront it, honestly I do but I don't know how.
I know that only I care and the blame for this is mine.
But I hope you know that if it weren't for you, I would be doing just fine.

(chorus)

When you read this know it's about you
Know there is nothing else I could do
Maybe I will be lucky and get a reponse
I am still alive too.........

Maybe I won't let you go because you are all I know.
Maybe I am too scarred to not have you there.
I've needed you here, this whole time
I need you to tell me I'm doing just fine.....

**i got this in an email a long time ago (7/12/2000 to be exact). i saved it, just like i save everything. you probably don't even remember writing this. you're a rockstar now, touring the country! but i know you're humble beginnings!