I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at carrie's Christmas party. It was katie who spiked the punch with too much cranberry juice. I can't help it if I drank 4 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pine.
I thought it was funny when I put aaron's thong on my head and danced the cha cha on the lazyboy while singing `i hate myself for loving you'. I didn't mean to break carrie's jukebox and don't know why carrie would sue me for mail fraud.
I don't remember calling adrian's wife a supersonic chicken---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on jamie's husband's finger, it was only because I ate too much of that salsa.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my limo through my neighbor's garage. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a shocking camel and have me arrested for assault and battery!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all rich and crazy. And I'm really not to blame for any of this weird stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and hardly yours,
susan (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 8 bucks!
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